Okay, I didn’t really want to talk about it. But here. Everybody is talking about race. The double standard of the ongoing media conversation pisses me off and I just can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.
So me. So far, I’ve been called names, looked down upon, humiliated (and on several occasions physically abused) for:
1) being Jewish (which I am not btw)
2) not being Jewish
3) being white (vs. Asian – talk about being kicked in the stomach and crawling in the dirt on your four while all uhm Asians laugh like children looking at it – that’s not a metaphor but a “true story”. Except I never thought about it from the racial point of view, that would be foolish)
4) being white (vs. black – that’s when I was “fresh off the boat” and didn’t know better than to go for a walk in the projects)
5) being a first generation American immigrant (vs. – oh my God – third generation “Real American”)
6) being Russian & female (a sure sign of being a mail order bride – NOT TRUSTWORTHY)
Also, my great grandparents were slaves. And I’ve been in jail in America on false allegations. My dad, mind you, almost broke my back when I was a kid. Thank God I did not see much of him. No, I didn’t grow up in slums. But I am quite a bouquet. And, for the reference, I’ve dated people of all “major” races, and my best friends are an ethnical bunch, too. So I am somewhat entitled to feeling self-righteous, eh?
Now gimme a break. At this point of time, it’s not about the color anyway, it’s about the social status and the money. I’ve been to R Kelly’s parties – everybody kisses his ass very nicely, blacks, whites, and whoevvvr.
One thing that has always interested me (and forgive me, I am a foreigner with a linguistic background and a mad curiosity, so I am absolutely sincerely interested in this). Why is it that if you are black you can use the “n-word”, and if you are white, you can’t, regardless of all other circumstances? It has been bugging me for years now. I would understand if nobody could use it, but no! Black people say it proudly and nobody else is allowed, a twisted taboo, and it’s killing me. I had a (white Jewish musician) boyfriend once who used to call me that word meaning that I was alright, so does it make him racist?
Done. Said what I wanted to say. The good thing about it, reincarnation makes it all kind of a moot point.
UPD. Something just came to mind. I once challenged a (rather evil and obnoxious, trust me) individual who was torturing and bullying a friend of mine. Somehow he had powers over her, that were not powers of love, but powers of war, rather – and she was borderline unrecoverable. When I gave him some of his warfare back, the first phrase out of his mouth was: “Oh, yeah?! Is it the fact that I am black and gay that you have a problem with?!!” I was speechless. The only problem that I had with him was that he was intergalactically obnoxious and felt 100% entitled to it. He could have been purple and dating transgender horses for all I cared.
February 18, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Good points…Life doesn’t tend to be fair…So it’s best to recognize this and push forward in spite of this fact…
On blacks and the N-word…ask Barack Obama if it’s all right for black people to use that word…
Coming from a poor childhood,I heard it in every way…As well as honkie, which incidentally was also “fine” for black people to use…But really, the use of the “n” word is in the guise of not remembering where African Americans have come from, but in reality helps keeps a portion there…
This kind of behavior transcends races and is more a reflection of a socio-economic “frame of mind”…
One thing that I learned as a teen was that you can still be white trash and have money…and this transcends race as well…
Good post…
February 20, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I call people niggers all the time.
Otherwise, we are going back to ‘white only’ and ‘black only’ words/bathrooms/water fountains. If niggers really had a problem with being called niggers, they would FIRST raise hell over rappers using the word. Mexicans don’t call each other spiks, asians dont call each other gooks. So i know they have a problem with these words and i don’t use them. However, there’s a name for when a certain ethnic group of ppl can use one word and others are not allowed. Its called ‘racism’. So whenever i hear a white person say ‘N-word’ i think racism. And until rappers will say ‘N-word’ in their songs, they will forever remain niggers to me. Because that’s what they think of themselves as. If you’re “reclaiming” the word, then reclaim it and be prepared to face the consequences.
February 20, 2009 at 12:35 pm
I’m having trouble framing my thoughts, so this will probably be jumpy.
Racisim in America bugs the heck out of me, because it is such a double standard. I think “those who know what’s right for us” are the one’s who preach unity, while the rank and file either don’t care or prefer to have the labels.
I’m also thinking that people need some definition of who they are. Maybe the N word has gotten the status of “something we have that you don’t” When you think on it, how many women wear the badge of “bitch” proudly. Derogatory terms are being turned around. I know an Irish guy (second or third generation at that!) who prefers to be called Mick or The Mick so it can’t be used against him in a derogatory fashion.
But, all the while- there are the stereo types. And stereo tyupes came about for a reason. After all there are 2 types of people in the world, those who put things into groups and those who don’t. We need our groups, we need our demographics.
February 20, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Caulairdis: great example with the “bitch”. Why didn’t it occur to me? I am at peace now. lol True – I can use this word about myself all I want, but I would get very angry (i.e. hurt) if anybody says it about me who is not a very close friend, and that, given the context is funny.
vad: I don’t use this word, because I don’t want to be lynched by somebody whose pain and resentment have been ingrained so deep that they wouldn’t bother to investigate what I meant or ask me any questions before throwing fat stones at me. When I was a kid in Moscow, the topic of inter-ethnical conflict was super popular in the media. My best friend (distinctly Armenian) and me (distinctly Russian except for the cases when antisemites look for Jews :) would get on a subway train and get into fake loud fights calling each other all sorts of derogatory names. We were making fun of the world of adults. We were best fucking friends. Since I came to America, political correctness crawled into my blood, and I am trying to squeeze it out but it’s everywhere. People are too serious here. On the other hand, America is a lot less racist that Russia. Go figure.
February 20, 2009 at 1:10 pm
No one had a choice who they were born, where they were born, when they born, etc..
But as children growing up in various households with various attitudes, results can be different. As adults we all have enough information to make informed decisions. Many attitudes are formed by poor intellects as well as poor choices. I for one am grateful for all the marvelous souls I have met in my life. Thank goodness music as a universal language is available to bridge those gaps.
We are all in this together and some of us may never realize this. So rant on dear girl, maybe someone will get the message.
Peace
February 20, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I am disabled and have spent a lifetime dealing with perceptions based on stereotypes. I have come to realize it is simply part of human nature to categorize everything and to react to everything that is different from what we perceive ourselves to be.
As far as language,I operate under the belief words only have as much power as we assign them. In order to designate and categorize we use words to identify different states of being. For a long time people with disabilities were called “crippled”. Probably as a result of Charles Dickens (tiny Tim) that word developed a negative connotation. It was followed by “handicapped”. Suddenly, everyone was offended by that word so we switched to “disabled”. Nope. Not good enough. Then came “physically challenged”. Of course, if we manage to keep ourselves in a permanent stage of outrage and taking offense we have a good reason to politicize ourselves as a persecuted group. For the people who organize and operate these groups there are real benefits — financial and emotional. No matter what I call it however, nothing will change the fact I cannot walk. And regardless of what words we choose to describe that fact it will mean the same thing and they will carry however much power, negative or positive, that we are willing to give them. If we really want a neutral word to describe disability we should probably invent a word with no basis in current language. Even doing that, I guarantee within 10 years someone will find it offensive and say we must never use that word again.
“Different” is a pretty good word but could describe a gigantic range of states of being. You might have a gay, Moravian quadriplegic! So, which of those things would “different” apply to?
Personally, I try to deal with people on an individual basis — if one is a jerk they are going to be a jerk regardless of skin color, nationality, religion etc.
February 21, 2009 at 7:56 am
As you can see as a species we are still evolving, words words words. What we are really talking about here is language,Black folks have always had there own language, Recently, in the last 30 years or so we have been sharing what we use to say in private, and to keep folks (white) out of the conversation, this still happens today in the Hip Hop culture. America is a new country and Blacks have given America so much including language, like the words Jazz or cool or Hip and the list goes on and on. Its not about race it is about culture and we are sharing or language and culture with you and you should feel privledged. Hey!
Everything is Everything.
C.
February 21, 2009 at 4:38 pm
[...] I realized I am not married to my blog posts. The one I wrote before about racism, evoked a strange reaction. All I was saying, is that racism the other way is still [...]
February 27, 2009 at 9:29 pm
This has been on my mind for quite some time. All though I am the sixth generation for my family in America, I am still 100% German. I don’t know how it happened, but it is the case–I am a typical pasty white blue eyed, blondy. I have always lived in the north…my family were loggers, farmers, bar owners and worked in factories. Our family was rich in love, not money. Everything I have was worked for and not given to.
When Obama won the election, I cried from relief…cried because he was my hope that my sibling might get out of doing another year over seas in the biggest waste of money war. I was also was upset by the response I heard from some African American people. At the bus stop, a circle of men in their mid 30`s early 40`s chanting over and over like a broken record, “From the Cotton Fields to the White House.” One: Please let me know what cotton fields you worked in in the northern states…I would be interested to know the non-existent location. Two: By holding onto this dark past of American history that is not every white man’s fault, it is only going to keep breeding racism. Three: One crucial piece from the slave trade seems to be forgotten while blaming the white man. It is also the fault of people whom this race might call “brother” or “sister.” Slaves sold to the whites were often captured by other blacks from tribal wars. It was blacks capturing blacks..blacks caging blacks..and blacks selling blacks to the highest bidder. This part of history is hardly ever mentioned and as it is all white man’s fault. I have heard several times from different African Americans that “the white man keeps me down.”
Please don’t blame me. I am 100% German and had nothing to do with the slave trade and because my family was in the northern United States being discriminated against for not speaking English. Please also let me clarify that we had nothing to do with Nazi Germany either. I, the white man, am personally sick of being blamed for something that I had no control over, no part of and as far as I am concerned is dead.
I voted for Obama not because of the color of his skin, but because he had all the right ideas. As soon as he became elected, he was “The First Black President.” By not admitting that he is also part white, it seems as if they are trying to erase that part of his identity. He is proud of both sides of his heritage–shouldn’t we respect that and get rid of the “First Black President” buttons, hats, and pins? How about “The First President who has to clean up one of the greatest messes in American History, because the previous President not only destroyed America, but also the bonds between America and other countries. Oh yeah…and “YES HE CAN!” Let’s give him credit for that! When I close my eyes, I cannot see what color my skin is, nor do I care–I am what I am. I cannot see what color your skin is–I do not care–you are what you are. All I can assume with my eyes closed is what you tell me. When I close my eyes and hear what I have been hearing….it makes me wonder where the racism hides.
February 28, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Olga: you expressed my point better than I did. Thank you.