Links to my recent interviews

June 17 – Live at UCB Theater – WFMU’s Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy

June 28 – Donkey Weed Talk Show with Christopher (I am in part 2)

Summary of thoughts I’ve had after the accident

1) Let the governors fuck (and love) whoever they want, please. What matters is how they rule, not who they choose for things that are nobody else’s business, anyway. Monitoring other people’s love (and sex) lives started with good ol’ monotheistic church, and has been happily exploited  since by all sorts of totalitarian and semi-totalitarian political systems. The only thing it says to me….but what else is new (*yawn*).

2) But really, if people were not created as for-life-monogamous creatures, who in the crying hell came up with the nauseating idea of criminalizing those who follow their God given nature? Again, the stupid church (and whoever adopted its five e-z steps of enslaving normal people). I am not saying that it’s not possible to do (being monogamous for life, that is), but it is only healthy when it’s by choice. I think there is more crime in staying in a loveless relationship than in following one’s heart. I swear. It’s not the lover who should be criminalized, but the system that makes it so freaking hard to be normal. 

3) The term “gay pride”, when used seriously, still pisses me off, as it does every year. What’s there to be proud of? No, no, no, I have no problem with gays at all, as a matter of fact, I fooled around with girls myself, and it’s lovely. But in my mind pride is associated with an individual or communal achievement, not with a biological feature such as having two hairy arms or being gay. Even animals can be homosexual, so? 

4) Therefore, I suggest to replace the term “gay pride” with the term “fuck all”. Residents of the UK may be excused. 

5) And no, I don’t want to blog about my car accident.  It happened, I  was very very fortunate, the movie is still in my head but it’s one of those things. It’s my movie.

Today several important things happened: 

1) I embraced the hipsters. I just saw one with hunger for love and fear of rejection in his eyes, and my heart melted. They are just like me!

(That poster with Nick Cave in my kitchen helped, but it was mainly that one guy who was dressed like a hipster but didn’t act like a total asshole).

2) I think I have the queen of all misreadings. I misread the giant letters on the building that I was walking by as “ALL ARTS ARE ON E”. I even spent several seconds thinking about what they could have meant by that and how an abstract thing can be on anything, but as I continued walking, I saw “…BRANCH OF ONE TREE”. Boring. 

3) I learnt my new favorite joke on the WFMU show where I was kindly invited as a guest a bit earlier today. Yes it was that rapist joke. 

4)  Now food

Newsletter word for word – ciao, running away

1) Yours truly is featured on the home page of Reverb Nation *puffing my cheeks up as if they need to be any puffier*

2) She is also performing at UCB Theater tonight at 6 p.m. as a guest of WFMU’s Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy. If you can’t attend you can listen in online. 

3) She almost locked herself in her apartment today by accidentally unscrewing (don’t ask) a part of the door lock that is absolutely necessary for the door to be opened. She  starting evoking a knight in shining armor throwing a rope ladder into her window to get in and rescue her, but on a later thought, she quietly screwed this thing back in and opened the door. As usual, too much thinking screwed things up, the pun is absolutely intended. The knight would have been more fun. 

4) She definitely spends way too much time on Facebook, as you can tell by the way she talks about herself in the third person. 

 

HUGZ

L

This coming Wednesday at USB Theater

Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time: 6:00pm – 7:00pm
Location: Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
Street: 307 W. 26th Street
City/Town: New York, NY

Seven Second Delay

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=86137671148

Film trailer that blew me away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_ZeIe-Dl4A

Wow, this video left me agape. As if they were spying on me to say those words. Not the suicide part but the situation of confusing a faulty environment with a faulty self.

That was my (almost) entire life in Chicago after I immigrated to the US – landing in wrong places, being judged and fucked by wrong people, thinking less and less of my value in the world because there was no connect between me and “others”. I hope one day I will understand why it was needed – right now I see it as years wasted on self-destructing (and I don’t blame anybody by the way – just my own fearfulness and idiotic choices).

As far as suicide, everybody with a heart has thought about it at least once, I am sure. This includes me. It does not make me crazy. Somebody who I consider my business mentor and who is incredibly successful by any criterion (made billions, has one of the happiest and most inspiring marriages I’ve seen in my entire life, – I’ve seen many marriages but those inspiring ones I can count using the fingers of one hand, – and is just a very clear human being) said that at some point he was actively thinking about not whether he should – but about how to kill himself. So we all have – although on an afterthought it is a really dumb idea, with a capital “D”.

But wow, this video.

Essay about asses (and an Ode to the Bronx).

There are different ways to check out one’s ass.

When men in my neighborhood check out my ass, they smile at me and say “God bless you, sweetheart!”. They make me feel like a woman. They admire and respect me the way a woman was made to be admired and respected (and by respect, I don’t mean the pavlonian reflex of leaving the toilet seat down with a whiff of casual hatred).

No, I probably wouldn’t date any of them (I am a child of the urban “intellectual” Western culture, I have my needs like alluding to Cortazar every now and then). But they make me feel right.

When I am in a dead white boy neighborhood, I feel consumed and lonely. They are the people who send me obscene FB messages. They are the toothachingly boring lovers leaving me empty and sad whenever I make a mistake of giving them more credit than they deserve. They are the ones who feel entitled to being entertained at the expense of anything, including my soul. They are dead, and if I only let them, they would be happy to kill me, too.

What have they done to the Earth?
What have they done to our fair sister?

I could treat them as sick children but I swear, these children are bigger than me and they don’t care – so why should I? I could wish that I lived in a different world but I live in this one, and zombies are a part of my life.

It only makes my walks in the Bronx better.

I am a pirate!

Something made me realize, my life has not been shabby at all.

I was reading (or gulping, rather) Deidre Dare’s column, and the last phrase stuck out like a sound of thunder at Disneyland.

“The problem with a lot of coupes de champagne is that the next morning you’re terribly hung over, can’t do anything more productive than watch S&M internet porn, and, Cinderella-like, discover that you’ve lost one of your charming Jimmy Choo shoes somewhere between the Palais Royal and your flat. Which is why, when someone asked me this morning for directions in the Luxembourg Gardens, and added: “Your accent is interesting. Where do you live?” I replied in perfect French, “On the high seas off Nigeria. You see, I am a pirate.”

Subtract the porn and the lost shoes, add the fact that when I was telling Americans

The brave new world

I just thought of something – a t-shirt with a display that broadcasts tweets.

I think up laughable extremities sometimes, but I am sure somebody will be making those in real life, and probably, in my lifetime.

Do hipsters think about sex?

I went out to get some medicine and to my utter surprise I spotted a hipster walking down the street like he belonged. Spotting a hipster in my hood is like spotting a yeti, given that I live in what politically incorrect people would call a Puerto Rican ghetto.

People in my hood are normal, natural creatures, vibrant with sexual energy. That hipster was a walking dead, that’s how I knew he was a hipster.

When I looked at him he turned his coolness away. It reminded me of the Simpsons episode in which Lisa went to a secret military location. The map read: “We are here, you are not!”

So honestly, do hispters think about sex?