http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_ZeIe-Dl4A
Wow, this video left me agape. As if they were spying on me to say those words. Not the suicide part but the situation of confusing a faulty environment with a faulty self.
That was my (almost) entire life in Chicago after I immigrated to the US – landing in wrong places, being judged and fucked by wrong people, thinking less and less of my value in the world because there was no connect between me and “others”. I hope one day I will understand why it was needed – right now I see it as years wasted on self-destructing (and I don’t blame anybody by the way – just my own fearfulness and idiotic choices).
As far as suicide, everybody with a heart has thought about it at least once, I am sure. This includes me. It does not make me crazy. Somebody who I consider my business mentor and who is incredibly successful by any criterion (made billions, has one of the happiest and most inspiring marriages I’ve seen in my entire life, – I’ve seen many marriages but those inspiring ones I can count using the fingers of one hand, – and is just a very clear human being) said that at some point he was actively thinking about not whether he should – but about how to kill himself. So we all have – although on an afterthought it is a really dumb idea, with a capital “D”.
But wow, this video.
June 15, 2009 at 10:07 am
I consider suicide to be the ONLY valid way out, sort of like samurai used to. However, it must the the last resort and always carefully considered and certainly not done rashly. My friends claim it’s the “Russianness” in me; reading this entry, I entertain the idea that they may be right…:)
June 15, 2009 at 10:24 am
How shall I put it? I have very good reasons to believe that suicide is about the most useless thing one can do to oneself. I am by no means being moralistic, just pragmatic.
June 15, 2009 at 10:41 am
It all really depends on the reasoning. I happen to think that it is empowering, when done right. Now that does not mean I am planning on jumping off the bridge tomorrow, or in the next 20 years, really. Life is too much fun and there are PLENTY of things to do; and I too, have personal experiences that make be believe that an ill-considered action of such finality is perhaps the stupidest thing one can do to oneself. So yes, most people do it for entirely wrong reasons. Depression, for example, is not a good reason (that too shall pass!). On the other hand, here in OR they have specific laws allowing assisted suicide in some cases, and that is one of the cases I am talking about. Finally, I can imagine myself 15000 years from now or so (ha!) standing on some planet near the Galactic Center, and telling myself, “it has been awesome, but I am running out of things to do, and my brain feels overfull…”:) One must know when call it a night.
June 15, 2009 at 10:50 am
You are making an assumption that 15000 years from now on that far away planet you will have a BRAIN!!!! hahahaha, you know I am kidding.
All I know is, in this place it is a stupid idea. It feels empowering, yes, but as my friend put it, “….and then I saw some guys approaching me in the dark, and I jumped away WAY too fast for somebody thinking about a suicide”. Bottom line, I am not going to argue the point, but assuming there is a bigger power in this Universe, which I personally assume safely, it is not possible to really kill oneself – it is only possible to mess things up (and guess who’s gonna have to unmess them) – it’s like messing with gravity – very nice, but ultimately, it’s there. Anyway, just my $0.02
P.S. Anyway, what really got me in the trailer was not the suicide path but the emphasis on the fact that you can drive a perfectly sane person up the wall by constantly telling him or her that he or she is inadequate and unwanted. That is not talked about enough, and people come unprepared.
June 15, 2009 at 11:17 am
I like your friend’s story…;) That just reinforces my opinion that most people that think they’ve had enough really haven’t. That is why several opinions are necessary, as well as a cooling off period. One does not do something like that on a spur of a moment without consulting (hopefully) impartial observers… Of course, as a good atheist, I must disagree, for the record, with your opinion of the impossibility of success in such an endeavour.